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Dear Keystonians,  

May is a busy time in schools! There are so many accomplishments our students are achieving. I hope they are all finding time for rest and reflection even in the flurry of this hectic time of the year. Our 12th graders have finished their exams and tonight they pass the leadership of the school over to the 11th graders in the Archway Ceremony. Tomorrow, after their graduation ceremony they will join the distinguished ranks of Keystone Alumni.  

In recent years, graduation season brings back complicated memories for me. I think of the graduations in 2020 and 2021 which were significantly altered because of the pandemic. At the time, I was working in the US and our graduation in 2020 was a socially distanced affair where each family could enter an open courtyard one by one to receive their sanitized diploma and take a picture with the head of school separated from their child with a plexiglass shield. There were over 400 kids in the graduating class and the “graduation” took all day to complete. It was a little better in 2021, but it wasn’t what people remembered, given the limited numbers of people we could accommodate at the event. In those years, it seemed to be the parents that were most troubled about the changes. For the students, it was the only 12th grade year they had ever known, and they were resilient. The parents, however, were distraught. This is not how they had imagined things for their kids, or themselves.  

They were so distraught that we hosted some sessions (online of course) with some notable psychologists. They reminded the families that in the lives of an adult, there are a series of major milestones. The first one is often when you leave your family home and go to college. The next major milestone might be earning a degree or two (or three!) And then, perhaps, marriage and maybe children. And then, what? Some folks said, “retirement!”  (As if there is nothing between having children and retirement!)  

But of course, as all 12th grade families are feeling intensely this week, the next big step is when your children leave home. It is a HUGE milestone in life. And after so many years of pouring everything into your child to make sure they have everything they need to succeed; parents can forget about the major change they are experiencing, as parents. Their kid is leaving the family home. During the pandemic this got even harder than normal as the anticipated routines and milestones were disrupted. Just recognizing why it felt so hard was important.  

While the pandemic and its complications are behind us, I am grateful for what I learned in that difficult time, particularly about the experience of 12th grade parents. Those of us who work in school understand these rhythms of coming and going; we will miss the 12th graders when they leave, but there will also be new 12th graders next year. Our work offers us a continual cycle of renewal and loss that we anticipate and plan for (operationally and emotionally).  

It is different for parents. Each 12th grade year is unique. It is a HUGE moment in parents’ lives when their child is leaving home—in many cases far away from home to another country. We have prepared the children for this, all of us have, but how prepared are the parents themselves for this moment?  Have they really taken the time to take care of themselves to prepare for this monumental change? Usually the answer is, not quite. Whether it is your oldest, youngest or only child graduating, things will be very different very soon. And this can be hard, really hard.  

So, my message to 12th grade parents is congratulations! And please be sure to take good care of yourselves! Let the tears flow and feel fully this special moment. Your children are amazing and are ready for what is next. And you are too. I can’t wait to spend time with you all this weekend as we celebrate these kids and this special moment.

With all my heart,  

Emily